Practical Definitions

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays. 
 Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich. 
  Nurse: 
A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills. 
 Marriage: 
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters. 
 Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower. 
 Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through 'the minds of either' 
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. 
 Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece. 
 Dictionary: A place where success comes before work. 
 Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on. 
 Father: A banker provided by nature.  
 Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. 
 Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after. 
 Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills. 
 Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read. 
 Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight. 
 Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life. 
 Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth. 
 Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do. 
 Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. 
 Experience: The name men give to their mistakes. 
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions. 
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death