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March 27, 2012
March 15, 2012
Lovers of the English language, which most of you're for sure, might enjoy
There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other
two-letter word, and that word is "UP."
It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list,
but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?
At a meeting, why does a topic come UP?
Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and
why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?
We call UP our friends And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP
the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.
We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.
At other times the little word has real special meaning.
People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and
think UP excuses.
To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.
And this UP is confusing - a drain must be opened UP because it is
We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.
We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!
To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP,
look the word UP in the dictionary.
In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the page and can
add UP to about thirty definitions if you are UP to it, you might try
building UP a list of the many ways UP is used.
It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may
wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is
clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it
rains, it wets UP the earth. When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.
One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP,
so.............Time to shut UP ...! This is interesting.
But to add my own bit, while it may be acceptable to hear- it is UP to
you; It may not be desirable to be told, UP (censored). ????
March 10, 2012
One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he
asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money
from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was
pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the
next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting
for him at his door.
Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his
bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you , I'm
doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the
shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a
'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.
Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to
pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I can not accept money from
you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament
was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber
went to open up, there were a dozen other Members of Parliament lined
up waiting for a free haircut.
And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between
the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.
BOTH POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS
NEED TO BE CHANGED OFTEN
FOR THE SAME REASON!
If you don't forward this you have no sense of humor. Nothing bad will
happen, however, you must live with yourself knowing that laughter is
not in your future. Now send it to everyone you know.
Suddenly a devil appeared and said,
"Drop something in the sea,
ONLY if I could find it,
I will eat you...
If I cant then
I will be your slave!"
American dropped a diamond...
Devil found it and ate him.
Russian dropped small platinum piece...
Devil found it and ate him too.
Now its Sindhi's turn.
Before knowing what Sindhi did,
take a moment to think
what would you do
Lets see if your thought meets
with that of our legendary Sindhi?
Sindhi opened a water bottle
and poured some water in the sea
and asked to find it.
Slave of Sindhi !!!
March 06, 2012
The group had surrounded a dog, concerned lest the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked "What are you doing with that dog?"
One of the boys replied, "This dog is just an old neighborhood stray, we all want him, but only one of us can take him home.
So we've decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog."
Of course, the Reverend was taken aback. "You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!" he exclaimed.
He then launched into a ten minute sermon against lying, beginning, "Don't you boys know it's a sin to lie," and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie."
There was dead silence for about a minute.
Just as the Reverend was beginning to think he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, "All right, give him the dog."
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