Life Positive and More

Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not the only thing in life!!  --Anonymous --------------------------------------------------------------------- Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others. --Oscar Wilde ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.  --Scottish Proverb ---------------------------------------------------------------------- I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.  --Sam Kinison --------------------------------------------------------------------- Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier. --H. L. Mencken --------------------------------------------------------------------- When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.  When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why. -----------------------...

Strength of a Man and Beauty of a Woman..!! Strength of a Man The strength of a man isn't seen in the width of his shoulders. It is seen in the width of his arms that encircle you. The strength of a man isn't in the deep tone of his voice. It is in the gentle words he whispers. The strength of a man isn't how many buddies he has. It is how good a buddy he is with his kids. The strength of a man isn't in how respected he is at work. It is in how respected he is at home. The strength of a man isn't in how hard he hits.. It is in how tender he touches. The strength of a man isn't how many women he's Loved by. It is in can he be true to one woman. The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift. It is in the burdens he can understand and overcome.   Beauty of a Woman The beauty of a woman Is not in the clothes she wears, The figure she carries, Or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman Must be seen from her eye...

When Insults Had Class   These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words. The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison." He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it." A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress." "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."  Clarence Darrow "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway). "Thank you for...

A good and civil way to have a fight  instead of physically....   Poems written by  WIFE  and  HUSBAND .     WIFE: I wrote your name on sand it got washed.  I wrote your name in air, it was blown away.  Then I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack.   HUSBAND: God saw me hungry, he created pizza.  He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi.  He saw me in dark, he created light.  He saw me without problems, he created YOU.   WIFE: Twinkle twinkle little star You should know what you are And once you know what you are Mental hospital is not so far.   HUSBAND: The rain makes all things beautiful.  The grass and flowers too.  If rain makes all things beautiful Why doesn't it rain on you?   WIFE: Roses are red; Violets are blue Monkeys like u should be kept in zoo.  Don't feel so angry you will find me there too Not in cage but laughing at you

This was developed as an age test by the R&D Department at  Harvard University .   Take your time and see if you can read each line out loud without a mistake.  The average person can't do it!   This is really difficult, not so easy, so be careful.              1.     This is this cat         2.     This is is cat         3.     This is how cat         4.     This is to cat         5.     This is keep cat         6.     This is a cat         7.     This is fool cat         8.     This is busy cat         9.     This is for cat         10.   This is forty cat         11.   This is seconds cat     Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down, and I bet you can't resist passing it on.

The shortcuts Action Shortcut Insert a new line within a cell [Alt] [Enter] Enable editing within a cell [F2] Add a comment to a cell [Shift] [F2] Open Print Preview [Ctrl] [F2] Fill selected cells with an entry you typed in one cell [Ctrl] [Enter] Fill data down or to the right through selected cells [Ctrl] D or [Ctrl ] R Create a name [Ctrl [F3] Insert the current date or time Ctrl] and ; (semicolon) or Ctrl and : (colon) Create a chart from a range of data [F11] Toggle the display of formulas [Ctrl] ~

Equations! - This is the best I have read in a LONG time  Equation 1  Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy  Donkey = eat + sleep  Therefore:  Human = Donkey + Work + enjoy  Therefore:  Human-enjoy = Donkey + Work  In other words,  A Human that doesn't know how to enjoy = Donkey that works.  ++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ ++ ++  Equation 2  Man = eat + sleep + earn money  Donkey = eat + sleep  Therefore:  Man = Donkey + earn money  Therefore:  Man-earn money = Donkey  In other words  Man who doesn't earn money = Donkey  ++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +  Equation 3  Woman= eat + sleep + spend  Donkey = eat + sleep  Therefore:  Woman = Donkey + spend  Woman - spend = Donkey  In other words,  Woman who doesn't spend = Donkey  ++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ ++++++++...