Life Positive and More

Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not the only thing in life!!  --Anonymous --------------------------------------------------------------------- Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others. --Oscar Wilde ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.  --Scottish Proverb ---------------------------------------------------------------------- I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.  --Sam Kinison --------------------------------------------------------------------- Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier. --H. L. Mencken --------------------------------------------------------------------- When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.  When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why. -----------------------...

Strength of a Man and Beauty of a Woman..!! Strength of a Man The strength of a man isn't seen in the width of his shoulders. It is seen in the width of his arms that encircle you. The strength of a man isn't in the deep tone of his voice. It is in the gentle words he whispers. The strength of a man isn't how many buddies he has. It is how good a buddy he is with his kids. The strength of a man isn't in how respected he is at work. It is in how respected he is at home. The strength of a man isn't in how hard he hits.. It is in how tender he touches. The strength of a man isn't how many women he's Loved by. It is in can he be true to one woman. The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift. It is in the burdens he can understand and overcome.   Beauty of a Woman The beauty of a woman Is not in the clothes she wears, The figure she carries, Or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman Must be seen from her eye...

When Insults Had Class   These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words. The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison." He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it." A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress." "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."  Clarence Darrow "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway). "Thank you for...

A good and civil way to have a fight  instead of physically....   Poems written by  WIFE  and  HUSBAND .     WIFE: I wrote your name on sand it got washed.  I wrote your name in air, it was blown away.  Then I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack.   HUSBAND: God saw me hungry, he created pizza.  He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi.  He saw me in dark, he created light.  He saw me without problems, he created YOU.   WIFE: Twinkle twinkle little star You should know what you are And once you know what you are Mental hospital is not so far.   HUSBAND: The rain makes all things beautiful.  The grass and flowers too.  If rain makes all things beautiful Why doesn't it rain on you?   WIFE: Roses are red; Violets are blue Monkeys like u should be kept in zoo.  Don't feel so angry you will find me there too Not in cage but laughing at you

This was developed as an age test by the R&D Department at  Harvard University .   Take your time and see if you can read each line out loud without a mistake.  The average person can't do it!   This is really difficult, not so easy, so be careful.              1.     This is this cat         2.     This is is cat         3.     This is how cat         4.     This is to cat         5.     This is keep cat         6.     This is a cat         7.     This is fool cat         8.     This is busy cat         9.     This is for cat         10.   This is forty cat         11.   This is seconds cat     Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down, and I bet you can't resist passing it on.

The shortcuts Action Shortcut Insert a new line within a cell [Alt] [Enter] Enable editing within a cell [F2] Add a comment to a cell [Shift] [F2] Open Print Preview [Ctrl] [F2] Fill selected cells with an entry you typed in one cell [Ctrl] [Enter] Fill data down or to the right through selected cells [Ctrl] D or [Ctrl ] R Create a name [Ctrl [F3] Insert the current date or time Ctrl] and ; (semicolon) or Ctrl and : (colon) Create a chart from a range of data [F11] Toggle the display of formulas [Ctrl] ~

Equations! - This is the best I have read in a LONG time  Equation 1  Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy  Donkey = eat + sleep  Therefore:  Human = Donkey + Work + enjoy  Therefore:  Human-enjoy = Donkey + Work  In other words,  A Human that doesn't know how to enjoy = Donkey that works.  ++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ ++ ++  Equation 2  Man = eat + sleep + earn money  Donkey = eat + sleep  Therefore:  Man = Donkey + earn money  Therefore:  Man-earn money = Donkey  In other words  Man who doesn't earn money = Donkey  ++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +  Equation 3  Woman= eat + sleep + spend  Donkey = eat + sleep  Therefore:  Woman = Donkey + spend  Woman - spend = Donkey  In other words,  Woman who doesn't spend = Donkey  ++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ ++++++++...

And last, but not least: Dumb as a box of Rocks   A VERY GOOD EXAMPLE OF THE KIND OF REPRESENTATION WE HAVE IN CONGRESS,  TRUE STORY :   A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where Nancy Pelosi happened to appear. Ms Pelosi took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease. 'Would you mind telling me, Doctor,' she asked, 'how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?' 'Nothing is easier,' he replied. 'You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track.' 'What sort of question?' asked Pelosi. Well, you might ask, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?'' Pelosi thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, 'You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I mu...

This is just too unbelievable!!!!! I know some people like this! You can't make this stuff up ! NEW YORK - resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her friends and family when she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearance on the popular TV show, 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.' Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on the first question and proceeded to make what fans of the show are dubbing 'the absolute worst use of lifelines ever.' After being introduced to the show's host Meredith Vieira, Evans was posed with a typically easy initial $100 question. The question was: 'Which of the following is the largest?' A) A Peanut B) An Elephant C) The Moon D) Hey, who you calling large? Immediately Mrs. Evans was struck with an all consuming panic as she did not readily know the answer. 'Hmm, oh boy, that's a toughie,' said Evans, as Vieira did her level best to hide her disbelief. 'I mean, I'm s...

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time then said 'Just cut it into 4 pieces;  I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces. Caution : They Walk Among Us!  

I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain.   My friend said, 'Ouch! The chain must rip out every time she turns her head!"   I had to explain that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned.... They Walk Among Us !  

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car which is designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped.  She keeps it in the car trunk. Caution :They Walk Among Us!  

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time then said 'Just cut it into 4 pieces;  I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces. Caution: They Walk Among Us!  

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard an admin girl talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach.  She drove down in a convertible, but said she 'didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving'. Caution : They Walk Among Us!

One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted....  'Look at that dead bird!' Someone looked up at the sky and said...'where?' They walk among us!

See the famous cies in colorful lights. See the presentation. Click on the back or forward button in the bottom middle (< & >). to see next page. Click on the extreme left bottom (MENU) and select option : VIEW FULLSCREEN. Beauty Of Night

How to live your life sensibly. See the presentation. Click on the back or forward button in the bottom middle (< & >). to see next page. Click on the extreme left bottom (MENU) and select option : VIEW FULLSCREEN. The Pillars Of Self Mastery If you want a copy of it, just drop me a comment at the COMMENT link at the black strip below with ur email addressa.

At one time in my life, I thought I had a handle on the meaning of the word "service."  "It's the act of doing things for other people." Then I heard these terms which reference the word service:  Internal Revenue Service   Postal Service Telephone Service Bus  Service Civil Service Public Service Customer Service Service Stations  Then I became confused about the word "service." This is not what I thought "service" meant.  So today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to "service" a few of his cows. Suddenly, it all came into perspective. Now I understand what all those "service" agencies are all about.  I hope you now are as enlightened as I am. -- "It is no use speaking in soft, gentle tones if everyone else is shouting". 

Moving the pointer without a mouse..! Ever thought that you could move your mouse pointer without your mouse..? No, not really, isn't it..? But, it's possible..! Here is how: 1.Press Left Alt + Left Shift + Num Lock Button and click OK in the dialogue box that appears. 2.In your Taskbar, a mouse-like icon will appear. Double click it and under "Mouse" tab, make sure that the "Use Mouse Keys" is checked. 3.Also ensure that the Num Lock is ON (ie. the light must glow). 2.Now with the help of Numeric Keypad e.g ( Press and Hold the following Keys ) 7 8 9 4 6 1 2 3 For normal click, press 5 Interesting, isn't it? You can also change settings under the "Mouse" tab in "Accessibility Options", by clicking on Settings

A Jobless man applied for the position of 'office boy' at Microsoft. The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test. 'You are employed' he said. Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start. The man replied 'But I don't havea computer, neither an email'. 'I'm sorry', said the HR manager. If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job.' The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate. He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation three times, and returned home with $60. The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late. T...