Life Positive and More

Dear Manager (HR), Vicky, my assistant programmer, can always be found Hard at work in his cubicle. Vicky works independently, without Wasting company time talking to colleagues. Vicky never Thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always Finishes given assignments on time. Often Vicky takes extended Measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee Breaks. Vicky is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no Vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound Knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Vicky can be Classed as a high-calibre employee, the type which cannot be Dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Vicky be Promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be Sent away as soon as possible.   Signed - Project Leader         NB: That stupid idiot was reading over my shoulder when I wrote the report Sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd lines (1, 3, 5, 7, 9,11, 13) For my true assessment of hi...

THE MOST AMAZING MAIL   "A person should not be too honest. Straight trees are cut first and Honest people are victimised first." Even if a snake is not poisonous, it should pretend to be venomous." The biggest guru-mantra is: Never share your secrets with anybody. ! It will destroy you." There is some self-interest behind every RELATIONSHIP. There is no relationship without self-interests. This is a bitter truth."    Before you start some work, always ask yourself three questions - Why am I doing it, What the results might be and Will I be successful. Only when you think deeply and find satisfactory answers to these questions, go ahead."   As soon as the fear approaches near, attack and destroy it."   Once you start working on something, don't be afraid of failure and don't abandon it. People who work sincerely are the happiest." "The fragrance of flowers spreads only in the direction of the wind. But the goodness of a pers...

Hi, Paste this code in your browser's address bar and hi enter and see the magic: javascript:function flood(n) {if ( self.moveBy) {for (i = 15; i > 0; i--){for (j = n; j > 0; j--){self.moveBy(1,i);self.moveBy(i,0);self.moveBy(0,-i);self.moveBy(-i,0); } } }} flood(6);{ var inp = " inos  morf ,ecnavda ni  0102 RAEY WEN YPPAH ,iH"; var outp = ""; for (i = 0; i <= inp.length; i++) {outp = inp.charAt (i) + outp ; } alert(outp) ;}; reverse

     *****************      TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?      PAPPU : "HIJKLMNO ! "!!      TEACHER : What are you talking about?      PAPPU : Yesterday you said it's H to O !      *****************      TEACHER : PAPPU, go to the map and find North America.      PAPPU : Here it is!      TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?      CLASS : PAPPU!      *****************      TEACHER : PAPPU, how do you spell "crocodile"?      PAPPU : "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"      TEACHER : No, that's wrong      PAPPU : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!      *****************      TEACHER : PAPPU, give me a sentence starting with "I".      PAPPU : I is...      TEACHER : No, PAPPU. Always say, "I am."      PAPPU : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."      *****************      TEACHER : "Can anybody give an example of " COINCIDENCE?"      PAP...

A French teacher was explaining to her college class that in French, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.   House is feminine "la maison." Pencil is masculine "Le crayon."   *********   A student asked, "What gender is computer ?"   Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups male and female - and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun.   Each group was asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.   *********   The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender (la computer) because:   1.. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;   2.. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;   3.. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later review; and   4.. As soon as y...

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him". A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the g...

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to  her and say: "I am very rich.  "Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing... "  2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a  gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He's very rich. "Marry him." -That's Advertising. .." 3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich. "Marry me - That's Telemarketing. .." 4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car)"Marry Me?" - That's Public Relations... " 5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says:"You are very rich! "Can you marry ! me?" - That's Brand Recognition. .." 6. You see a gorgeous girl at a...