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September 13, 2009

Software Dillema

TO: Microsoft Technical Support,
I  am  desperate for some help. I recently upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife  1.0. I found that the new program began giving unexpected errors. It automatically  took  up a lot of space and valuable resources. This wasn't mentioned  in  the product brochure. In addition Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Boys Night Out 2.5, and Cricket 5.3 no longer run and crash  the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate Saturday Sports Bar  6.3  always  fails  but Saturday Shopping 7.1 runs instead. I Can not seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favorite applications. I am thinking about installing Girlfriend 8.0 but unable to uninstall Wife 1.0 after hundred of unsuccessful attempts. It seems uninstall failed to work at all on this new software.
Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase help me.
With regards,
A. Victim
  REPLY FROM MICROSOFT TECH SUPPORT
This  is  a  very  common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding. Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely  a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.  Please note that Wife 1.0 is an  OPERATING  SYSTEM  designed  by its creator to run everything. You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0  as  Wife  1.0  is  not  designed  to  do this and it is impossible to uninstall,  delete  or  purge  the  program  files  from  the  system once installed.

Some  people  have  tried  to  install Girlfriend 8.0 or wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems. (See in manual under alimony Support and Solicitors Fees). Having  Wife  1.0  installed  myself I recommend you keep it installed and deal  with  the  difficulties as best you can. When any faults or problems occur,   whatever  you  think  has  caused  them,  you  must  run  the  C: APOLOGISE.EXE program and avoid attempting to use the "Esc-key". It may be necessary to run C: APOLOGISE.EXE a number of times but hopefully eventually the operating system will return to normal.

Wife  1.0 although a very high maintenance program, can be very rewarding. To  get  the  most  out  of it consider buying additional software such as Flowers  2.0  and  Chocolates  5.0. Do not under any circumstances install Secretary  (Short  Skirt  version)  as  this  is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost certainly  crash.

In no case try to install the free software (Mother-in-Law 1.0) that comes with WIFE 1.0 operating system. Installing this software would lead to Not Responding messages from Wife1.0 operating system.
Also,  as  soon  as  you  upgrade  Wife  1.0 to Mother 1.0, you will start receiving children "Pop-Ups" which will  permanently reside in your system and your system will start running on low resources.  You will then need to uninstall/delete many of your  favorite applications in order to avoid frequent system hang-ups.

Sympathies From Microsoft Technical Support
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