Ship Joke

The following is supposedly a documented conversation between the USS Lincoln and a Canadian "vessel"....

Canadian: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision. 

Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the captain of a us navy ship. I say again, divert your course. 

Canadians: No. I say again, you divert your course. 

Americans: This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in the United States Atlantic fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and numerous support vessels. I demand that you change your course 15 degrees north, I say again, that's one five degrees north, or counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship. 

Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

Think

Shoes we wear are sold in AC showrooms

while vegetables we eat are sold on footpaths !

Pizza reaches faster than ambulance !

Life has its own ways...Live it ! 

Interesting English Counting

Letters 'a', 'b', 'c ' & 'd' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 99

Letter 'd' comes for the first time in Hundred

Letters 'a', 'b' & 'c ' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999

Letter 'a' comes for the first time in Thousand

Letters 'b' & 'c' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999,999,999

Letter 'b' comes for the first time in Billion

And

Letter 'c' does not appear anywere in the spellings of entire English Counting.

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Warren buffet Principle's..........

We are at 5 right now......GOOD TIMES RETURN AT 6, SO CHEER UP!

We begin this New Year with dampened enthusiasm and dented optimism. Our happiness is diluted and our peace is threatened by the financial illness that has infected our families, organizations and nations.  Everyone is desperate to find a remedy that will cure their financial illness and help them recover their financial health. They expect the financial experts to provide them with remedies, forgetting the fact that it is these experts who created this financial mess.

Every new year, I adopt a couple of old maxims as my beacons to guide my future. This self-prescribed therapy has ensured that with each passing year, I grow wiser and not older.

This year, I invite you to tap into the financial wisdom of our elders along with me, and become financially wiser.

Hard work        :   All hard work brings profit; but mere talk leads only to poverty.
Laziness          :  A sleeping lobster is carried away by the water current.
Earnings          : Never depend on a single source of income.
Spending         :  If you buy things you don't need, you'll soon sell things you need.
Savings            : Don't save what is left after spending; Spend what is left after saving.
Accounting       : It's no use carrying an umbrella, if your shoes are leaking.
Auditing           : Beware of little expenses; a small leak can sink a large ship.
Risk-taking       : Never test the depth of the river with both feet.
Investment       :  Don't put all your eggs in one basket.

I'm certain that those who have already been practicing these principles remain financially healthy. I'm equally confident that those who resolve to start practicing these principles will quickly regain their financial health. 
Let us become wiser and lead a happy, healthy, prosperous and peaceful life."

----- Warren Buffet

The Most Powerful Productivity Technique Ever

The technique I am about to share with you is so simple, yet so profoundly life changing that it need only be explained within a few sentences.

We are all looking for ways of being more productive and cutting out time wasting activities in our lives.  There have been countless books written about it, countless blogs blogging about it, and countless gurus doing seminars on it.
Well, here is the one most powerful methods for being the most productive person you will ever be:

Work as if you are being audited,

and have to explain every single

minute of your day.

That's it.  I can guarantee you that this technique alone will double your rate of productivity.

The technique works in two ways:

Notice time leakages

Working as if you have to account for all your time and explaining yourself will let you see exactly where you waste time.  When you know where you are wasting time you can cut the practice out.

Being mindful

When you work like this you are being what Buddhists call 'mindful'.  You are focusing on the work you are doing and talking to yourself about it:

'I am on the internet.  Why? I shouldn't be on it I am being audited, I'll get back to writing my notes up.' All day long, you are constantly being mindful of what you are doing.  this is extremely powerful, as this is not a normal occurance.  Our mind wanders all over the place.  the technique above will stop it from wandering and help it to focus on what you deem important.
Of course you have to be disciplined to be mindful, but the more you practice the better you become.

The 4 Stages of Competence

About a year ago, I learned of the 4 Stages of Competence from a friend and business associate. This model has really helped me gauge and measure myself when learning new skills.  According to the model, you move from unconscious incompetence to unconscious competence. Here are the four stages: 1. Unconscious incompetence - The individual neither understands nor knows how to do something, nor recognizes the deficit, nor has a desire to address it. In short, you don't know what you don't know. 2. Conscious incompetence - Though the individual does not understand or know how to do something, he or she does recognize the deficit, without yet addressing it. This is the stage where you know what you don't know. 3. Conscious competence - The individual understands or knows how to do something. However, demonstrating the skill or knowledge requires a great deal of consciousness or concentration. You know how to do it, but you have to think your way through it. 4. Unconscious competence - The individual has had so much practice with a skill that it becomes "second nature" and can be performed easily (often without concentrating too deeply). This is the stage where you can do it without thinking.  You just know what to do. A good example of this is learning how to drive. When you first learn how to drive a manual stick shift, you very quickly learn that you don't know how to do it (conscious incompetence).  As you practice you can start to think your way through it (the conscious competence stage).  As driving the stick shift becomes a habit for you, eventually you can drive without thinking, shifting gears effortlessly while you think about other things (unconscious competence.) Another example I like is when I first learned how to type. My mom taught me from scratch and I remember practicing her method countless times. I built unconscious competence soon after and I could type pretty quick as a result. Today my skill to type quick really helps me a great deal and saves a lot of time. Question: What skills have you learned where you applied the 4 stages of competence model?

HOW THE NEXT DECADE CAN BE INDIA'S ???

BY WILLIAM H AVERY 

 

  In the past decade India has proved its resilience. The nation survived two global recessions and multiple terrorist attacks with its secular democracy intact and its economy stronger than ever. Along the way it gained de facto admission to the club of nuclear weapon states and established itself as a future world power.

India's task in the coming decade is to make this future a reality. For the world to accept India as a major power, it has to start acting like one, not just talking like one. Here are 10 things that should be on India's to-do list for the next 10 years:

Quit NAM: The organisation's membership is a who's who of third rate powers. To be in NAM is a declaration of impotence. India has outgrown it, and should withdraw. The remaining members can then non-align themselves against India if they wish.

Forget the UN Security Council: Indians should be embarrassed at its government's repeated requests for a permanent seat on the UNSC. It is a legacy institution comprised of the victors of a war that ended 65 years ago. Three of its five members are declining powers. India should look towards the 21st century and prepare itself for the new conflicts that will confer great power status.

Build a world-class navy: India has the fourth largest navy in the world—in terms of manpower. But wars are won by tonnage, not by headcount. In tonnage, India's navy is currently seventh, behind France and at one half of China's strength. India needs to be among the top three in navy: at par with China and behind only the US.

Complete the NPT Two-Step: It's a nice dance move. Say the NPT is discriminatory and you will not sign it. Get an exemption to trade in nuclear technology anyway. Then, once you are a de facto nuclear weapon state, say you would like to be admitted to the NPT. It will be another triumph of nuclear cunning if India can pull it off.

Police the neighbourhood: India was traumatised by the IPKF experience but must get over it. Great powers do not let anyone mess with them in their neighbourhood. A young America declared in the Monroe Doctrine of 1823 that it would not tolerate any further European colonies in the Western Hemisphere. Britain sees as an act of aggression occupation of the low country ports of Holland or Belgium by another power. Russia fought a war in 2008 to keep Georgia from getting too chummy with NATO. So, why is India letting the Chinese build a port in Sri Lanka? India has to defend its perimeter or it will find itself vulnerable to more strategic-thinking adversaries.

Lock up natural resources: Here India needs to take a page from China's playbook. From South America to Africa, China has been sealing deals for the minerals to feed its growing industrial base. India has to start to catch up, and quickly.

Start India's own H-1B programme: It is time for India to become a net importer of talent. Smart employees worldwide will flock to India's growth. If Mumbai is to become a global financial centre, it will have to have as many foreigners as Hong Kong or London.

Open up the higher education sector: Apart from infrastructure, education is India's greatest barrier to faster, more inclusive economic growth. For higher education, many students have no choice but to go abroad for studies, and their parents' money goes with them. Others can neither afford to go abroad nor get a place in India. This is an intolerable situation for a nation that values education and self-improvement. The only way to change it fast is with outside help. The government should pass the Foreign Education Providers Bill.

Sell Indian culture overseas: Global powers enhance their influence by exporting their popular culture to the world. The English and the French did it with literature; America has done it with film and television. India has a thriving English-language creative industry that is an untapped instrument of influence. The Indian government should devote more energy and taxpayer money to selling Indian culture overseas, from Bollywood to high literature. The Chinese are nowhere in this regard, having hardly encouraged artistic expression, much less in English. India has a real opportunity to step forward and define new global artistic motifs for Asia's Century.

Find India's own Teddy Roosevelt: A century ago, America had a thoroughly modern, young President unafraid to stake a claim to global power status. TR mediated an end to the Russo-Japanese War, dug the Panama Canal and showed off the US navy on a world tour. India needs its own TR for the 21st century. He or she will change the way the world sees India and the way India sees itself.

India's restraint in the face of provocations over the past decade has earned it the world's respect and paid economic dividends. To become a world power, India will have to continue to build its economic and military strength, flex its muscles and—where necessary—shed its blood. Nations become great powers by winning wars. There is no other way.

The author is a former US diplomat

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How men change !!!

The Love Word: 
After 6 weeks: I looo-ve you, I love you, I love you! 
After 6 months: Of course, I love you. 
After 6 years: GOD, if I didn't love you, then why did I marry you? 

Back from Work: 
After 6 weeks: Honey, I'm home! 
After 6 months: I'm BACK!! 
After 6 years: Have you cooked yet? 

Phone Ringing: 
After 6 weeks: Baby, somebody wants you on the phone. 
After 6 months: Here, it's for you. 
After 6 years: ANSWER THE PHONE DAM*T!! 

Cooking: 
After 6 weeks: I never knew food could taste so good! 
After 6 months: What are we having for dinner tonight? 
After 6 years: DUMPLING AGAIN?? 

New Dress: 
After 6 weeks: Wow, you look like an angel in that dress. 
After 6 months: You bought a new dress again? 
After 6 years: How much did THAT cost me? 

TV: 
After 6 weeks: Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight? 
After 6 months: I like this movie. 
After 6 years: I'm going to watch PIRATES play, if you're not in the mood, go to bed, I can stay up by myself! 

Making Love: 
After 6 weeks: Baby, I want you tonight? 
After 6 months: Lets make another baby, my mother just called!!! 
After 6 years: Please MOVE over to your side, I'm suffocating here!!!!

Being Happy means-You've decided to see beyond the imperfections

Once upon a time there was this girl who had four boyfriends. 

She loved the 4th boyfriend the most and adorned him with rich robes and treated him to the finest of delicacies. She gave him nothing but the very best. 

She also loved the 3rd boyfriend very much and was always showing him off to neighboring kingdoms. However, she feared that one day he would leave her for another. 

She also loved her 2nd boyfriend. He was her confidant and was always kind, considerate and patient with her. Whenever this girl faced a problem, she could confide in him, and he would help her get through the difficult times. 

The girl's 1st boyfriend was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining her wealth and kingdom. However, she did not love the first boyfriend. Although he loved her deeply, she hardly took notice of him! 

One day, the girl fell ill and she knew her time was short. She thought of her luxurious life and wondered, I now have four boyfriends with me, but when I die, I'll be all alone.' 

Thus, she asked the 4th boyfriend, 'I loved you the most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?' 

'No way!', replied the 4th boyfriend, and he walked away without another word. 

His answer cut like a sharp knife right into her heart. 

The sad girl then asked the 3rd boyfriend, 'I loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?' 

'No!', replied the 3rd boyfriend. 'Life is too good! When you die, I'm going to marry someone else!' 


Her heart sank and turned cold. 

She then asked the 2nd boyfriend, 'I have always turned to you for help and you've always been there for me. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?' 

'I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!', replied the 2nd boyfriend. 'At the very most, I can only walk with you to your grave.' 


His answer struck her like a bolt of lightning, and the girl was devastated. 

Then a voice called out: 'I'll go with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go.' 

The girl looked up, and there was her first boyfriend. He was very skinny as he suffered from malnutrition and neglect. 

Greatly grieved, the girl said, 'I should have taken much better care of you when I had the chance!' 

In truth, you have 4 boyfriend's in your lives: 

Your 4th boyfriend is your body. No matter how much time and effort you lavish in making it look good, it will leave you when you die. 

Your 3rd boyfriend is your possessions, status and wealth. When you die, it will all go to others. 

Your 2nd boyfriend is your family and friends. No matter how much they have been there for you, the furthest they can stay by you is up to the grave. 

And your 1st boyfriend is your Soul. Often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures of the world. 

However, your Soul is the only thing that will follow you where ever you go. 
Thought for the day: 
Remember, when the world pushes you to your knees, you're in the perfect position to pray. 

Being happy doesn't mean every thing's perfect. 
It only means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.